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Acceptance of a gay child

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Last week I had my cousin and his wife visiting me after a long time. I haven’t seen them so often, because they have left the country after their wedding and for over 7 years they live in Italy. They went there to work through the help given by their godparents. Of course that we talked a lot, we remembered all kind of things since we were children and we shared everything that happened through the time that we have not seen each other. Among all these stories, they shared with me a story that in my view was not treated properly at that specific moment. His godparent’s boy is gay. They discovered this recently when they went out for a walk and saw their boy drinking a beer with another boy somewhere at a terrace. It has not seemed nothing strange seeing him there with another boy, until that one took him by the hand and looked him in a certain way. That was when he realized that his son was at a gay dating. My cousin said that they even joked about this because they never saw James, this is the boy’s name, with a girl but it didn’t cross their minds that is was really a fact. I can’t tell just that what happened next it really shocked me. At least they had the decency to not make a scene to the poor boy out there. Don’t think that they didn’t intended to. Luckily, my cousin managed to make him understand that a scene would not be the right thing at the time and it would be better to wait for him at home and maybe have a discussion with him about what he had just seen. There still maybe was a small possibility that he wasn’t on a date. Until he got home they tried to make his parents understand that even if he is into gay dating this is not such a big thing. They even explained then what LGBT dating is all about, and there are lots of people that have same sexual orientation, but for nothing. When he got home an entire circus begun. There was a lot of fighting and it took a lot of yelling and even violence for the boy to come clean. What shocked me besides their reaction at the time, is that my cousins told me that for a long time the boy’s parents tried even by violence to make him give up this habit. After long, long time and lots of discussions with various people, they got to the conclusion that they don’t have what to do and must stop requiring him to change something that after all did not depend on him.

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So, dear parents, if you find yourselves in the same position, please don’t make the same mistake. We were free to choose who to love, to choose the one to marry with so we must give our kids the same chance. You can’t tell your heart who should be in love with, same as you can’t order your body of who to be attracted to. This is not choices that we make. We are born with them. The only thing that is up to us is that we take care to choose as good as possible so we can live a happy and beautiful life next to the one we have chosen.

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